Day 30: Be Present Today

How much of your day do you actually experience? Many of us spend our waking hours half elsewhere: planning dinner while in a meeting, scrolling while eating, rehearsing an argument while walking. Today's challenge is to be present for as much of the day as you can.

A wandering mind

In a well-known 2010 study, Harvard psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert used a smartphone app to ask thousands of people, at random moments, what they were doing, whether they were thinking about something else, and how happy they felt. People reported mind-wandering in nearly half of the samples (about 47%). And they tended to be less happy when their minds were wandering than when they were focused on what they were doing, even when the activity itself was mundane.

The researchers summed it up in their title: "A wandering mind is an unhappy mind". Their work shows an association, and mind-wandering isn't always bad (it can help with creativity and planning). But it suggests that being present more often could make ordinary moments more enjoyable.

What being present means

Being present doesn't require meditation retreats or special skills. It simply means paying attention to what's happening right now, on purpose, without judging it. When your mind drifts, as it will, you notice and bring it back.

How to practise today

Start with three minutes of breathing. Sit comfortably and pay attention to your breath going in and out. When your mind wanders, notice where it went and return to the breath. That's the whole exercise. Noticing and returning is the practice.

Do one thing at a time. Pick a few everyday activities today and do them without multitasking:

• Eat a meal without your phone, TV or reading. Notice the taste, texture and smell of the food.
• Drink your morning tea or coffee slowly, paying attention to the warmth and flavour.
• Walk somewhere without headphones. Notice what you see, hear and feel.
• Have a conversation where you give the other person your full attention.

Use reminders. Set a few gentle alarms during the day. When one goes off, pause, take a breath and notice where you are and what you're doing.

Notice your senses. If you're caught up in worry, a simple grounding exercise helps: name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell and one you can taste.

Presence with people

One of the most valuable places to practise presence is in your relationships. Put your phone away when someone is talking to you. Make eye contact. Listen to understand rather than to reply. People notice when they have your full attention, and it's one of the most generous things you can give. Our guide on improving your listening skills goes deeper.

Be patient

Your mind will wander many times. That's not failure; it's what minds do. Each time you notice and come back, you're building the skill.

Going further

If you enjoy today, consider a short daily practice of five to ten minutes. Many free guided mindfulness recordings are available from reputable sources. If you live with anxiety or depression, structured programmes such as mindfulness-based cognitive therapy are offered by some health services.

Today's challenge

Do three minutes of mindful breathing, then choose at least three everyday activities to do with full attention. Note how the day felt compared with usual.

Related: 7 ways you can relax right now and life is short, but not that short. Tomorrow, the final day: suspend reality for today.

Sources and further reading

• Killingsworth & Gilbert (2010), A wandering mind is an unhappy mind, Science