Day 31: Suspend Reality for Today | A Meaningful Existence

The final day of the challenge is the most playful. Today you'll suspend reality, or at least your usual version of it. For one day, act as if some of the limits you've accepted weren't quite so fixed.

What it means

We all carry beliefs about what's possible for us: "I'm not a creative person." "I'm too old to learn that." "People like me don't do that." "I don't have time." Some are true. Many are habits of thought that we've never tested.

Suspending reality doesn't mean ignoring real constraints such as money, health or responsibilities. It means temporarily setting aside the beliefs that may be holding you back, to see what happens.

Step 1: Pick a belief

Think about something you'd like to do but have told yourself you can't or shouldn't. Write down the belief that stops you. For example:

"I can't sing, so I'd never join a choir."
"I'm not the kind of person who speaks up in meetings."
"I'm too busy to start writing."
"I'm not fit enough to try a running club."

Step 2: Imagine the alternative

Now imagine a version of you for whom that belief isn't true. What would they do today? Be specific. The person who believes they can sing might look up a local choir and send an email. The person who speaks up might prepare one comment for tomorrow's meeting. The writer might write for fifteen minutes before work.

Step 3: Take one action

Do one small thing today that the alternative you would do. Not the whole dream, just one step.

Step 4: Notice what happens

Pay attention to what actually happens, as opposed to what you feared would happen. Often the result is more ordinary than expected: the email gets a friendly reply, the comment in the meeting is well received, the fifteen minutes of writing produce a rough but promising paragraph. Sometimes it goes badly, and you learn something.

Dreaming plus planning

There's a useful caution here. Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen has found in her research that simply fantasising about positive outcomes can actually lower the energy people put into pursuing them. What works better, her work suggests, is a strategy she calls mental contrasting: imagine the outcome you want, then imagine the main obstacle in your way, and make a plan for it. She later packaged this as WOOP: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.

So today, after you've imagined the alternative you, ask: what's most likely to stop me? Then make an if-then plan: "If I start to talk myself out of emailing the choir, I'll send it before I can overthink."

Make it fun

This day is meant to be playful. You might dress differently, try an activity you'd normally dismiss, or spend an hour doing something purely for joy. Children are excellent at suspending reality. Take a lesson from them.

Looking back on the challenge

You've reached the end of thirty-one days of small experiments. Before you move on, take some time to look back. Which days made the biggest difference? Which would you like to keep? Our guide to reviewing your 31 days will help you turn the best experiments into habits.

Today's challenge

Choose one limiting belief, imagine a version of you without it and take one action that version of you would take. Then plan for the obstacle most likely to stop you next time.

Sources and further reading

Oettingen: WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan)