Day 27: Find the Laughter Again | A Meaningful Existence

Children laugh constantly. Many adults go whole days without a proper laugh. Somewhere along the way, work, responsibilities and seriousness crowd it out. Today's challenge is to find the laughter again.

Neuroscientist Robert Provine spent years observing when and why people laugh, and summarised his findings in his book Laughter: A Scientific Investigation. One of his key observations was that most laughter isn't a response to jokes at all. It happens in ordinary conversation, and people are far more likely to laugh when they're with others than when they're alone.

In other words, if you want more laughter, the quickest route is usually spending time with people you enjoy.

Why it's worth it

Laughter seems to help bring people closer. In a 2012 study, evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar and colleagues found that people who had been laughing together, for example while watching comedy in a group, could tolerate more pain afterwards than those who had watched something neutral, which the researchers linked to the release of endorphins. They suggested social laughter may play a role in bonding.

Beyond the research, most people know that a good laugh can lift a heavy mood, break tension in a difficult moment and make hard days more bearable.

Ways to find more laughter today

Watch or listen to something funny, ideally with someone else: a favourite sitcom, a stand-up special, a comedy podcast.
Call the friend who always makes you laugh.
Spend time with children or pets. Both are reliable sources of absurdity.
Play a game: charades, a silly board game, a video game with friends.
Look back at old photos or videos that make you smile.
Go to a comedy night, improv show or funny film at the cinema.
Share a funny story from your past at dinner.
Try something new and slightly ridiculous: a dance class, karaoke, a beginner's art session.

Laugh at yourself, kindly

Being able to laugh at your own mistakes is a useful skill. It takes the sting out of small embarrassments and shows others that you don't take yourself too seriously. The key is kindness: laughing with yourself, not mocking yourself.

Humour that connects

Not all humour is equally helpful. Humour that brings people together, by sharing an absurd situation or gentle teasing among friends who know it's affectionate, tends to strengthen relationships. Humour that puts people down or excludes others usually doesn't.

When laughter feels far away

If you're going through grief, depression or a very hard time, laughter may feel impossible or even wrong. That's normal. Sometimes it returns slowly, in small moments. Being around people who care about you can help, even if you don't feel like laughing. And if you've noticed that you haven't laughed or enjoyed things in a long time, that's worth mentioning to a doctor.

Today's challenge

Plan at least one thing today that's likely to make you laugh, ideally with others. Write down what made you laugh and how it felt.

Related: phone a friend and the five keys to happiness. Tomorrow: just say no.

Sources and further reading

Questions people ask

Is laughter yoga or 'fake' laughter useful?

Some people enjoy it and find that forced laughter turns into real laughter in a group. The evidence is limited. Genuine laughter with people you like is easier to find and probably more rewarding.

What if nothing seems funny lately?

That happens during stressful or sad periods. Spending time with easy-going people often helps more than searching for jokes.

Laughter is social