What If You Only Had One Week?

It's a sobering question, but a clarifying one: if you knew you only had one week left, how would you spend it?

The point isn't to dwell on death or make anyone anxious. It's to see, with unusual clarity, what you care about. Then you can bring a little more of it into the weeks you actually have.

What people tend to say

When people answer this question, certain themes come up again and again:

• Spending time with loved ones. Partners, children, parents, close friends.
• Saying things that have gone unsaid. "I love you", "I'm sorry", "thank you", "I forgive you".
• Being in beautiful places. The sea, mountains, a favourite park, home.
• Simple pleasures. Good food, music, laughter, sunshine.
• Letting go of worries. Work emails, minor grudges, comparisons and status suddenly seem unimportant.

Very few people say they'd work late, scroll social media or worry about what the neighbours think.

Why time horizons change priorities

Psychologist Laura Carstensen developed socioemotional selectivity theory to explain how our goals change as we perceive time as more limited. Her research suggests that when time feels open-ended, as it often does for younger people, we tend to prioritise gathering information, new experiences and future opportunities. When time feels limited, through ageing, illness or even an approaching move, people tend to prioritise emotionally meaningful experiences and close relationships.

The one-week question artificially shortens your time horizon, which can help you see what matters emotionally.

From reflection to action

The real value of this question is in what you do next. You probably can't spend every week as if it were your last; you have work, bills and responsibilities. But you can bring more of what matters into ordinary life.

Step 1: Write your answers. Spend fifteen minutes writing what you'd do, who you'd see, what you'd say and where you'd go.

Step 2: Look for what's possible now. Which items could you do this month, at least in a small way?

Step 3: Choose one action for this week. Call someone you love. Write a letter. Visit a favourite place. Say something that needs saying.

Step 4: Notice what you'd drop. What occupies your time now that wouldn't make the list? Could you reduce it?

Saying what needs to be said

For many people, the most powerful part of this exercise is realising there are things they want to say to people in their lives. You don't need a deadline to say them. Thank a teacher, tell a friend what they mean to you, mend a rift if it's safe to do so. Our challenge day on writing ten reasons why you love someone is a gentle way to start.

Balance

This exercise isn't a case for abandoning responsibilities or living recklessly. Saving for the future, working steadily and looking after your health are also ways of caring for yourself and the people you love. The aim is balance: making sure the important things aren't permanently postponed.

If the question is painful

For people who are grieving, seriously ill or facing real loss, this question may be raw rather than hypothetical. Please be gentle with yourself. If it brings up difficult feelings, consider talking with a friend, counsellor or support service.

Try this

Write your answers to the one-week question. Then choose one action you'll take in the next seven days.

Related: how will you be remembered?, life is short, but not that short and this is your life.

Sources and further reading

• Carstensen et al. (1999), Taking time seriously: a theory of socioemotional selectivity, American Psychologist