A MeaningfulExistence

Decisions & Goals · 2 min read

The Number One Shortcut to Success: Learn from People Who've Done It

The most reliable shortcut to success is learning from people who've already done what you want to do. How to find mentors, ask good questions and learn from others' mistakes.

In short

The closest thing to a shortcut is learning from people who have already done what you're attempting. Find them, ask specific questions, study their mistakes as well as their wins, and adapt what you learn to your situation.

There are no real shortcuts to success. Anything worth achieving usually takes time, effort and some luck. But there is one approach that can save years of trial and error: learning from people who've already done what you want to do.

Why learning from others works

Every field has lessons that are only obvious in hindsight. Someone who's been there can tell you which mistakes are common, which steps really matter and which ones you can skip. They can also show you what's possible, which is often a powerful motivator.

Research on mentoring supports this. A 2008 meta-analysis led by Lillian Eby combined results from many studies across youth, academic and workplace settings and found that mentoring was associated with a range of positive outcomes, including attitudes, health, relationships, motivation and career outcomes. The effects were generally modest, but consistent.

Ways to learn from others

Find a mentor. A mentor is someone more experienced who's willing to share advice and guidance. Mentoring doesn't have to be formal. A former boss, a senior colleague or a friend further along in their career can all play this role.

Ask for a short conversation. Many people are surprisingly willing to give twenty minutes to someone genuinely interested in their path. Be specific: "I'm considering a move into UX design. Could I ask you three questions about how you got started?"

Read biographies and memoirs. Books give you access to people you'll never meet. Look for honest accounts that include failures as well as successes.

Join communities. Professional associations, clubs, online forums and local meetups are full of people at different stages who share what they've learned.

Observe closely. Watch how skilled people in your workplace or community handle situations: how they run meetings, deal with conflict or make decisions.

Ask good questions

The quality of what you learn depends on the questions you ask. Some useful ones:

  • What do you wish you'd known when you started?
  • What was the biggest mistake you made, and what did you learn?
  • What would you do differently if you were starting today?
  • What do most beginners get wrong?
  • Who else should I talk to?

Learn from failures, not just successes

Success stories are inspiring, but they can be misleading. For every successful person, many others tried similar things and didn't succeed, a problem sometimes called survivorship bias. Listen carefully to what went wrong for people, not just what went right. Failures often contain the most useful lessons.

Adapt, don't copy

Someone else's path won't fit you exactly. Their circumstances, timing, resources and personality were different. Take the principles and lessons, then adapt them to your own situation.

Give back

As you gain experience, become the person others can learn from. Mentoring someone else also helps you clarify your own thinking and reinforces what you've learned.

Try this

Identify one person who has achieved something you'd like to achieve. Write three specific questions you'd like to ask them. This week, reach out and ask for a short conversation, or find a book, talk or interview in which they share their experience.

Related: are you paying attention? Help can come from anywhere and 5 quiet success factors nobody talks about.

Sources and further reading

Questions people ask

How do I find a mentor if I don't know anyone senior?

Start with professional associations, alumni networks, community groups and online communities in your field. Ask for one short conversation with a specific question rather than asking someone to be your mentor. Ongoing relationships often grow from there.

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