A Meaningful Existence or a Meaningless One? How to Tell the Difference

It's a dramatic question, and the honest answer for most people is "somewhere in between". Very few lives are empty of meaning, and very few feel meaningful every single day. But the question is still worth asking, because the balance can shift, and much of what shifts it is within your control.

What "meaningful" actually means

Philosophers have argued about the meaning of life for thousands of years. Psychologists have taken a narrower, more practical approach: instead of asking what life means, they ask what makes people feel their lives are meaningful.

A useful summary comes from psychologists Frank Martela and Michael Steger, who in 2016 described three components that keep turning up in the research:

Coherence: your life makes sense to you. Events feel connected rather than random.
Purpose: you have goals and directions that matter to you.
Significance: you feel your life has value and makes a difference, to someone or something.

When people describe a meaningless stretch of life, they usually mean one or more of these is missing. Days blur together (low coherence), nothing feels worth working towards (low purpose), or it seems nobody would notice if they disappeared (low significance).

Meaning is not the same as happiness

A 2013 study led by Roy Baumeister surveyed several hundred adults about happiness and meaning. The two overlapped a lot, but there were interesting differences. Happiness was linked more to getting what you want and feeling good in the present. Meaning was linked more to thinking about the past and future, to giving to others, and even to some stress and worry. Raising children, for example, can be exhausting and stressful while also feeling deeply meaningful.

That's freeing in a way. A meaningful life doesn't have to be a constantly pleasant one. Some of the most meaningful periods people describe involve hard work, caregiving or struggle.

Small ways to add coherence

Reflect regularly. A weekly ten-minute review (what happened, what mattered, what you learned) helps experiences join up into a story.
Keep some rhythms. Shared meals, a Sunday walk, a yearly trip to the same place: repeated rituals give life a recognisable shape.
Tell your own story kindly. How you describe your past to yourself shapes how coherent it feels. Setbacks can be chapters, not the whole plot.

Small ways to add purpose

Name what you care about. Write down three or four values in plain words, like "being there for my kids" or "making things with my hands".
Pick one goal that serves a value. Not a big five-year plan, just one goal for the next three months.
Notice purpose in what you already do. A job you find dull may still feed your family, help a colleague or fund something you love.

Our guide to the first step in finding meaning for your life goes deeper on values.

Small ways to add significance

Help someone this week. Research on volunteering and kindness repeatedly links giving with a stronger sense of meaning.
Ask for feedback. We often underestimate our effect on others. Ask a friend what you've done that helped them; the answer can surprise you.
Contribute to something bigger. A community garden, a local club, a cause: being part of a shared project makes your effort feel like it counts.

A quick self-check

Rate each statement from 1 (not at all) to 5 (very much):

My life makes sense to me.
I have goals I genuinely care about.
What I do matters to other people.

A low score on one line points to where a small change could help most. Retake it in a month and see what's moved.

Start this week

Choose one action from each list above and put it in your calendar. Meaning tends to grow from ordinary weeks, not dramatic breakthroughs. You might also try writing a life list, which is a surprisingly good way to find out what you care about.